free to love. free to serve.

something i've been trying to focus on the past few weeks is consciously fighting the flesh and doing what is necessary to serve Christ and serve others. 

at church a few Sundays ago, Sr Pastor Ed Underwood gave a sermon that continued in our study of Galatians, which he refers to as "the gospel of Christian freedom". all year we've been studying this awesome book and learning about our freedom in Christ as Christians and I have been deeply encouraged and admonished by Paul's letter. and something particularly challenging is this verse: 

"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love." 

(Galatians 5:13 NIV) 

we should walk in the Spirit. and that entails putting our own fleshly desires aside. that means choosing to do what serves others and serves Christ as opposed to what serves ourselves and our fleshly desires. and to be honest, i've never really seen myself as a characteristically selfish person. but after trying to live this out... I realize how much of what I am inclined to do is self-serving. and it mostly revolves around my time and energy. since I started working full time 4 years ago, time became a rare and precious resource. and my energy for things perceived as being outside of the necessary and important was quite limited. I lived my life under the pretense that everyone I need in my life is already in my life, so what is the purpose of trying to get to know new people or keep in touch with ones I've lost touch with over the years? I basically shut down my life, my time, and my energy to those who weren't already receiving it because there was just no more to go around. but I realize now that I was not living a life of love or service to others or to Christ because I was being selfish. I was fulfilling my flesh. My flesh wants time to myself. My flesh doesn't want people coming over, especially when I'm tired or have things to do. My flesh just wants to be left alone and not have what I once considered "high maintenance relationships". 

Ironically, the Lord gave us this ministry that is based out of our home, and requires putting myself out there to care for people and be involved in their lives even when they're not in my face... which is very essential if this ministry were to flourish and if I really wanted Him to use me... and He has in so many ways that I'm humbled and thankful for. and now I see how not only important it is, but also what a tremendous blessing it is to choose to serve and love others as part of our service to Christ. and it's been a challenge for me to make myself choose to serve that person in need, but it's truly amazing to see God work and experience His power in my life. 

my breakthrough heart prayer for this year is for God to use me. and what a blessing and humbling experience it has been to know that He has heard my prayer and the prayers of my sisters in Christ for me. 

To God be the Glory!! 

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." 

(Galatians 5:22-25 NIV)